‘Que valiente eres!’
You are so brave! These are the words I heard most last years. Everywhere I went with my horses Meknes and Nikka on our pilgrimage to Santiago the Compostela, people called me brave for travelling ‘alone’ with them.
I didn’t feel brave myself. Meknes had a huge trailer trauma before leaving, so I felt bad putting him into this adventure. I was terrified to drive long distances, afraid that we would have nowhere to stay, and scared that the car would break down.
I know now that fear is the biggest threat to follow dreams. It took me years to find enough courage to start travelling with my horses. I kept preparing myself, without going. I gave up my house, helped Meknes to overcome his trailertrauma, got rid of all my stuff, lived in a caravan, but stayed in the Netherlands. The responsability for the wellbeing of Meknes and Nikka, weighted heavy on my shoulders. I kept choosing ‘security’ over my dreams.
When we finally left to live my dream, everything I was afraid of, happened for real. I had to face every single fear, that had kept me in the Netherlands for such a long time. I couldn’t protect Meknes and Nikka from bad things happening, the car broke down a few times, Nikka and Meknes got really sick, and we had to leave some places we were staying, unexpectedly.
Facing my fears
Facing all the fears, made me realize that we could handle them all. Everytime I had to face my fears, I found out, that I could do more, than I ever thought I could. Universe gave me the challenges, but always helped me out, by providing guardian angels.
Following my heart
Following my heart wás and ís the right thing to do. I felt scared so many times, even to the level of sweating and shaking. Now I understand the words of the people when they said I was brave, while I felt scared so many times. Being brave is not about the absence of fear. Courage doesn’t mean you don’t feel scared. Having courage means that you feel scared and do it anyway.